I really was kind of sorry that I took me until Wednesday to tell him this when I had pretty much made up my mind half way through the date on Friday. I know I didn't let on hoping that my mind would change or something, but that rarely happens to me when it comes to guys. If I don't like you it's just not happening.
Here's how it went down. Saturday morning I get a follow-up text telling me he thought about last night a lot on his walk home and on his bike ride that morning. RED FLAG (RF). When I didn't respond I got a follow-up to the follow-up asking what my plans were for that night. Well....I was going out and he was getting harassed by a cougar and hoped he wasn't making me fall asleep the night before. Can I see you again? I said sure. On Saturday the answer was a sure...an I'll give it a go again. Then came the following:
(RF2)...oh, we can postpone my attempt to score a second date. I know you prob have to go anyway... (after I had not responded because I was driving or at work or doing something)
(RF3)...please don't tell people you were falling asleep. They are going to think I roofied you! (A. not funny. B. I'm telling a lot of people this because I'm blogging about you. C. Shut up.)
(RF4)...think about what you want to do and let me know. I'm around whenever. (I bolded, italicized and underlined even though I think when you read that you didn't need any more of slap in the face run away sign.)
That was all over the two days following our date.
Monday he asked what was for lunch at work and told me he watched one of my favorite movies. He also asked if I could pencil him in before October. He asked if I was having second thoughts (KEY WORD) and if I was if we could still be friends (RF 2449101). F that. That's what people say, not do. Stop being pathetic. "I'm a big boy...you can tell me to piss off and I won't throw a fit :-)". What's with the smiley face? I probably could have used that as an easy segue to end this disaster, but I didn't. I needed more evidence.
He was worried that he was stressing me out at work and that I could have told him to stop IMing during work ours and let him know what I wanted to do because he didn't want to waste my time. Yes, his chats are like run-on sentences. I told him straight up that if I was too busy then I just wouldn't respond. Gchat is just part of his day and he even talks to clients that way. Ummmmmm...so?
Get a clue man. You sound desperate. Really desperate. I know what that sounds like because I have been there. Deal with your pain dude.
In the end I used his words...second thoughts. At least he got a second one, right? He wanted to know where he went wrong. It was more of what I didn't feel. ...as in I didn't feel it going into a second date. He thought we had a rapport. I LOL'ed which is why gchat was the perfect method for this process. He still is going to have a crush on me and wants to know if he should delete my name from his chat list in the event that he would want to send a "strickly friendly" chat. Impossible and stop using words ending in -ly.
Anyway.................................................................................................................
I'm talking to some generics on match. Not too much there. A guy emailed me saying that we have a lot in common. I checked his profile. A bunch of pictures and a paragraph about him liking his researcher job. So I reply:
"Hi, so tell me...what do we have in common? Your profile doesn't have much to go off of." Seriously, word for word.
I mean, how else do I respond to that? If you don't put effort into it, neither do I.
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I also got another email from the running teacher guy (you can go look him up in my previous posts, but probably not worth it). He wanted to know if he scared me off and he's interested in hearing from me. He said I should feel free to write soon.
What is with all these guys? I replied and told him a little more about myself. I made sure he knew my hair was short and about the same length as his. That is, after all, the first thing he notices - which is fine, but if you don't like short hair then don't talk to me because I just got short hair and I like it and it's staying.
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Basically I'm looking forward to meeting some normal guys (noun): guys who are not so extreme. Someone who has a job, likes what he does and still wants to advance but it doesn't consume him. Someone who likes things: cooking, music, working out...but none of them are his life and if he misses a few days of doing one activity in particular then no biggie. Life happens. He goes out, stays in, parties hard but not too hard. Has friends and hangs out with them, watches a little TV...maybe is addicted to one show in particular. Likes to laugh all the time, likes his family most of the time and takes naps if he is tired, drinks coffee, etc...
I mean I can't be too strict with this "normal guy" thing because that is extreme by definition. Let's get real though - I know I have extreme moments...rewind to my two month vegan stint...but, then that came to an end. It was kind of like a hobby...similar to this dating and blogging activity.
Maybe I should make that my profile. Match suggests putting a question at the end: "Normal guy, do you exist?".
2 comments:
That whole third to last paragraph should be your profile description on match...then you let these guys know exactly what you want straight off the bat.
I should put that under what I want. Although I think too many guys would consider themselves normal. I think Ill post my profile on here too!
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