Selectivity

Selectivity is my new mantra.

When I first started match I was excited to get the daily emails, winks and chats. Now that it is about a month and a half in I'm a little exhausted. I never realized how much work it is to date. People wants answers to their emails and wink at me twice if I don't wink back. Get a clue - if I'm into you an email will be in your inbox. If I'm not into you then I won't wink back. It's not like the internet sucks up the winks and emails you send to me so that I don't get them - Oh, I get them alright and I am choosing to not answer. That's just how it is. And, it's not because I don't have time...it's that there is something about your email or profile that just turned me off and I realize that it will be better for both of us if we just don't go there. Period.

I used to feel bad about the men I did not respond to. I remember thinking that they seemed so nice and that I should just give them a chance. Let's face it...I just don't have the time to date every man on the internet. If there's nothing there making me want to stay online for a few extra minutes to respond to your email I doubt there is going to be something that makes me want to get ready and spend an evening in your company. My date nights have become fewer as time goes on with all of my other activities building up. I don't want to waste my date nights on some guy who thinks we have a lot in common because we like to do the same things that everyone does - enjoys going to dinner, working, hanging out with friends and working out. It takes more than that and I'm now being selective because I have realized that. It's simple really...if I don't get a sense that there is something more than a pretty face or a person who likes to stay active then you don't get penciled in.

Selectivity.
Selectivity.
Selectivity.

Old(er) Men

In the past few weeks I have had a couple of emails from slightly old(er) men. The blog is called search for a silver fox...they don't know that, but perhaps I give off some kind of clue in my profile: "Looking for stud-ly older man, preferably with silver hair and nice teeth." Ok, so I only put that up as my tagline for max 24 hours.

I'll start with the younger of the two. I don't remember his name and I'm too lazy to go to match and look it up. Regardless, let's call him old stud. He's 38. My age range on the site is 23 to 33 and he's not in it, but figured he'd give it a go anyway. The email was simple: here's my number, let's chat because I don't like email. He asked if I was free this weekend. No, I'm not free. I respond saying that I am busy and will get in touch with him the following week. Next week rolls around and I get another email from him. I initially think that he is going to start saying something of value instead of this crap about not liking email. FAIL. The same email from the previous week shows up in my inbox.  I might excuse this if the email was a little different, perhaps reiterating that he hates email OR if he actually wrote me a new message...BUT his email was a reply to my email which was a reply to his original email saying the e.x.a.c.t. same thing! Get a life and grow up.


After being totally turned off by those rubbish emails I was delighted to see an email from a new man in my inbox. The subject line said something like "An Email to a Lovely Lady". This could certainly be interesting. Click. Email opens. What a lovely and thoughtful email. He read my profile, liked what he saw and responded. I'm guessing he liked what he saw because I was 23 and he is...................................59. Hahahhahahahhahahhahhahahhaha. Yes, he sent a nice email. Yes, he has accomplished a lot. Yes, he enjoys the finer things in life. Yes, he has free time to hang out. THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S RETIRED. Inappropriate...grow up. 

Are you fo' real?

A guy who looks like Steve Carell winked at me.

Here's a brief run-down of his profile:

He starts out with what he wants in a woman: the perfect 10 (obviously I'm paraphrasing). He mentioned that he would like someone who supports him similar to how Atlas supports the world (so that came straight from his profile). No joke.

His image of the future with this perfect 10 is to travel the world for long periods of time while staying at grand places like the Four Seasons and hiking big mountain ranges.

He's a lawyer who also strongly focuses on real estate. He has two condos in two big cities, has two offices and listed two bars in the city that he likes.

He makes a point to let the reader know he has season tix to the football games, enjoys running and going to the gym...oh, and ya, he enjoys playing polo and show jumping.

The profile while absurd, is intriguing, very eloquently written (very unlike how I paraphrased it) and I'm wondering if he's fo' real...

and then I get an email:

"Whatcha doing?"

How else do I respond except:

"Just hangin out...how bout you?"

One Month Anniversary

Match seems to be the answer to everything these days. It is the middle ground between hobby and obsession.

What do I do in the morning before I get out of bed? Well, conveniently, match sends me an email overnight with all of my new matches on it...so naturally I check them out.

What do I do during my down time at work? It's a good thing that I bought a smart phone because I can check my match status through the app that I downloaded. If I get an email during the day from one of the several guys with whom I am corresponding I sometimes secretly respond in the bathroom.

What do I do when I come home from work? Let's be honest...usually I don't come straight home because I have a date or am working out so I can look good on my dates or am shopping for new date clothes. On the off chance that I come straight home I prepare dinner while my computer loads so I can get on match and use a real keyboard instead of the touch screen on my phone. I eat next to my computer and answer winks and see who viewed me.

What do I do after dinner? I save this special time for answering the emails from the guys I'm actually interested in and then, if there's time, answering the emails from the second tier. In the month that I have been on match I have become very efficient with this and have decreased response time and increased sleep time.

What do I do right before bed? Ok...ok. So I told you I wasn't obsessed, but seriously...